Forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools we have for healing and personal growth. When we hold onto grudges and resentments, we carry around emotional baggage that can weigh us down and hold us back in life. However, forgiveness is often easier said than done. In this blog post, we’ll explore the science behind forgiveness and offer practical tips for letting go of grudges.

One of the key benefits of forgiveness is that it can help us reduce stress and improve our mental health. When we hold onto anger and resentment, our bodies are in a constant state of fight or flight, which can lead to a variety of health problems over time. By forgiving those who have wronged us, we can release the tension and negative emotions that have been holding us back.

Another benefit of forgiveness is that it can improve our relationships with others. When we hold onto grudges, it can create a cycle of negativity and conflict that can be difficult to break. However, by choosing to forgive, we can break that cycle and create a more positive dynamic with those around us.

So, how can we go about forgiving those who have wronged us? Here are a few tips:

Practice empathy: Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see things from their perspective. This can help you understand why they acted the way they did and make it easier to forgive.
Write a letter: Sometimes it can be helpful to write a letter to the person you want to forgive (even if you never send it). This can help you process your emotions and find closure.
Practice self-compassion: Forgiving others can be difficult, but it’s just as important to forgive ourselves. Remember that we all make mistakes and that it’s okay to be imperfect.
By practicing forgiveness, we can let go of the past and move forward with more positivity and peace in our lives.

Mindfulness and meditation are powerful tools for healing and can be incredibly beneficial for those looking to improve their mental and emotional well-being. These practices can help to reduce stress and anxiety, improve sleep, and promote feelings of calm and relaxation.

One of the main benefits of mindfulness and meditation is that they help to reduce stress and anxiety. When we are feeling overwhelmed or anxious, it can be difficult to focus and think clearly. Mindfulness and meditation can help to calm the mind and reduce feelings of worry, allowing us to approach challenges with a clearer head and a more relaxed state of mind.

Mindfulness and meditation can also improve our sleep. By helping to reduce feelings of stress and anxiety, these practices can make it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep, leading to improved sleep quality and a better overall sense of well-being.

Another benefit of mindfulness and meditation is that they can help to promote feelings of calm and relaxation. When we are feeling overwhelmed or stressed, it can be difficult to find time to relax and recharge. Mindfulness and meditation provide an opportunity for quiet reflection and allow us to connect with our inner selves, promoting a sense of peace and calm.

In conclusion, mindfulness and meditation can be valuable tools in the healing process. By reducing stress and anxiety, improving sleep, and promoting feelings of calm and relaxation, these practices can help us to feel better and work towards a happier, healthier life.

Nature therapy, also known as ecotherapy or green therapy, is the practice of using nature to promote physical and mental well-being. In recent years, research has shown that spending time in nature can have a profound impact on our overall health and can be an effective tool in the healing process.

One of the main benefits of nature therapy is that it can help to reduce stress and anxiety. Spending time in nature can help to calm the mind and reduce feelings of worry and overwhelm. This is partly because being in nature can stimulate the release of endorphins, which are feel-good chemicals that improve our mood and reduce feelings of pain.

Nature therapy can also help to improve our physical health. Spending time outdoors can increase our exposure to sunlight, which is essential for the production of vitamin D. Vitamin D is important for bone health and can also have a positive impact on our mood. Additionally, being in nature can encourage physical activity, which can help to boost our energy levels and improve our overall health.

Another benefit of nature therapy is that it can provide a sense of perspective. When we are going through a difficult time, it can be easy to become overly focused on our problems. Spending time in nature can help to provide a sense of perspective and remind us that our problems are just a small part of the larger picture.

In conclusion, nature therapy can be a valuable tool in the healing process. By reducing stress and anxiety, improving physical health, and providing a sense of perspective, nature therapy can help us to feel better and work towards a happier, healthier life.

Embracing a positive mindset can have a powerful impact on the healing process. It can be easy to fall into negative thought patterns when we are going through a difficult time, but the way we think about ourselves and our experiences can have a major impact on our overall well-being.

One way to cultivate a positive mindset is through gratitude. Taking time each day to reflect on what you are thankful for can help shift your focus away from negative thoughts and towards the things in your life that bring you joy. This can help to improve your mood and increase your overall sense of happiness.

Another way to embrace a positive mindset is to challenge negative thoughts. When negative thoughts come up, take a moment to examine them and ask yourself if they are truly accurate. Often, negative thoughts are based on past experiences or fear and may not reflect the reality of the situation. By questioning and reframing these thoughts, you can shift your perspective and feel more empowered.

It’s also important to surround yourself with positive people. Being around individuals who are supportive and uplifting can help to boost your mood and increase your overall sense of well-being. On the other hand, spending time with people who are negative or bring you down can have the opposite effect.

In conclusion, embracing a positive mindset can be a valuable tool in the healing process. By focusing on gratitude, challenging negative thoughts, and surrounding yourself with positive people, you can work towards a happier, healthier life.

Self-care is an important aspect of the healing process. When we are going through a difficult time, it can be easy to neglect ourselves and focus solely on the problem at hand. However, taking care of ourselves is essential to our overall well-being and can greatly improve our ability to cope with difficult situations.

Self-care can take many forms, from getting enough sleep to engaging in a hobby you enjoy. One of the most important forms of self-care is setting aside time for yourself to reflect and relax. This can be done through mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga, or simply by taking a walk in nature.

Another key aspect of self-care is eating a healthy diet. Our bodies need proper nutrition in order to function optimally and help us to feel our best. Eating a diet rich in fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein can help to boost our energy levels and improve our mood.

In addition to these physical forms of self-care, it’s important to address our mental and emotional health as well. This can include seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. Talking about your feelings and experiences can help you to process them and gain a new perspective.

Finally, it’s important to be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself and remember that it’s okay to take things one day at a time. The healing process takes time and it’s important to give yourself the space and time you need to recover.

In conclusion, self-care plays a crucial role in the healing process. By taking care of our physical, mental, and emotional health, we can improve our ability to cope with difficult situations and work towards a happier, healthier life.

I‘ve learned that the things we think are a loss are often not. You may think so at the moment, but as things settle and you give Life the opportunity to reveal the path, you understand why things had to happen as they did. You have to make room for the new to find you. Sometimes it is necessary to let go of people even when you find it painful.
Oftentimes we assign judgment to a situation without knowing the big picture. To optimize your life for happiness, do your best to appreciate every situation – even the difficult ones. Ask yourself what’s the purpose or meaning in this situation that will help take your life to the next level?

Not every person is meant to go the distance with you. Some people are assigned shorter energetic contracts and once those contracts are realized, people have a way of moving on from your life. Once a lesson is learned, new people come into our lives to teach us, show us, hurt us or inspire us to experience the next set of lessons.

Mourning a Loss Is Not Weak
I’ve learned that it is not weak to mourn relationships that end, even when those were perceived as bad ones. Whether they are friendships, family ties or romantic ones, it is brave to allow yourself to feel the absence and the empty space they leave. But I’ve also learned that it takes even more bravery to not stay stuck in the loss and to understand that if those relationships end, it is because they no longer serve your highest and greatest good.
The next time someone walks away from you, instead of feeling devastated, wish them well and thank the Universe for the time you had with them. Thank Life for the good times and for the hurtful ones because the good ones gave you joy and the bad ones gave you lessons.

I can tell you with certainty that contracts that end with people we love are hurtful. I won’t tell you otherwise. But I can say for sure that when I look back at those people that left, better things came into my life as a result. The same can be true for you.

Not All Things that End Are “Bad”
It is also important to know that not all things that end are “bad.” I’ve had great relationships end as well, but for one reason or another, they seemed to fizzle out when their purpose for the connection had been served.

Learn to look at everything in your life not as bad or good, but as learning opportunities to either do better or be better and evolve. Sometimes we hold on to people for too long as their contract has been served and is now over. We stubbornly see their departure as a failure and as a loss.

I’ve learned that the more you delay and retain those finished contracts, the more you prolong the suffering, not just for yourself, but for the other person as well. I remember dating and loving deeply a man who was not right for me. He came into my life with a specific purpose, to be the wound-giver. Of course, neither of us knew that at the start. To make a long story short, I was head over hills as the saying goes. This blinded my ability to see that he was wrong for me on multiple levels but I pursued the relationship nonetheless.

This turned out to be the most painful, toxic and disruptive relationship of my life so far. I was hurt in the deepest and cruelest of ways a person can get hurt. Despite it all, each time this man wanted to leave, I would convince him to stay, something that cost me deeply. This experience taught me that when someone wants to go, let them, even if it hurts. What is meant for you doesn’t need convincing. What is meant for you is never threatened.

At the time of course, I could not conceive of letting him go. As bad as the relationship was, I saw it as a huge failure for me and I am the kind of person who doesn’t like losing. I fought the battles alone. I loved, invested and believed for both of us. It was an uphill journey with a very steep price.

When a contract is coming to an end, don’t resist it, otherwise it will be like expecting to get water out of a rock. Learn to not fear the end of things because ends are always followed by new beginnings and that is something to be grateful for. If you focus on what you think you are losing, you will suffer. If you are grateful for what lies ahead, you will be at peace.
In retrospect, had I not been so stubborn in holding on for a life that was not meant for me, I would have saved myself a lot of pain and grief. Years later, I’ve come to see the end of this relationship as the greatest blessing in my life. It was the Best Worst Thing that Happened to Me, hence the title of the first book I wrote!

What I saw in the moment as a great loss was a huge blessing disguised in pain. I learned so much from that relationship. That relationship cracked open my soul, led me to my life’s purpose, and taught me above all — to not fight Life.

When it’s time for people to leave your path, accept it. It is not up to you to know or understand the reasons why. But it is up to you to have faith that all things that happen, are happening for your greater good.

Nugget:
BE GRATEFUL for all things that end.
What is meant for you, will flow to you.
What is not meant for you, will wither away.
Let it!

Teen Depression —a reality that consumes your thoughts, mind, and behavior, and if left untreated, becomes one with you. Depression doesn’t discriminate, regardless of age, it can attach itself to you, just like it did with me.
Hi, I’m Emma Feldberg, a 14-year-old girl from Canada. From November 2020 to April 2021, I was experiencing depression. However, I didn’t think I was depressed because I had it all; private school, supportive parents, trustworthy friends, and financial stability. My life seemed perfect, but if you looked deeper, you would see pain and heartbreak. There are three important pillars in my life: friends, family, and school. At this time, all three pillars were slowly collapsing.

The 3 Pillars in My Life Crumbled
Friends: During this period my friends shut me out, whispering behind my back to the point they didn’t want to be friends with me.

Family: My father was having marriage challenges with my stepmom and it broke my heart. The environment in the house was dark and I felt suffocated, helpless and alone every day.

School: I am an A-student and a quiet girl in school. However, this past school year I found my voice. I felt I had come out of a cage and was able to express who I truly was. Unfortunately, that did not go very well. Teachers used to say, “I want you to talk and share your opinion more in class.” But the compliment soon turned into, “You need to stop talking in class and get control of your attitude issues.” I felt confused. I had found myself and people were telling me to hide away and that crushed me.

The foundation in my life was an earthquake. One day, walking home thinking about how angry, sad and conflicted I was, a thought popped in my head, “Well why don’t you kill yourself?” I thought it was ridiculous. But the next day, and every day after, I would think about committing suicide. The fantasy turned into reality. The “what ifs” were turning into “how’s” and the “how” was turning into a plan. I felt that suicide was the perfect escape.

I felt like I was in a dark void with no solution. When I thought about 10 years down the line or even 5 minutes ahead, I felt nauseous and sick. My outlets were my friends but I was told not to interact with them by the teachers. With all these signs you would think I would know I was depressed. But I didn’t have enough self-awareness to have that realization.

Finding Joy in Life Again
The best thing I did was to tell my mother and I was introduced to a therapist. Therapy helped me realize why I was depressed, how to prioritize myself and gave me coping strategies. I was no longer suicidal but I was at peace with dying any day. I would watch TV and see characters in movies fight for their lives with all their strength, and that was unrecognizable to me.

As time went on, I began to find joy in life again. I would look at rainbows, clouds, and trees and it would remind me that earth was a beautiful place to be and I belong here. I no longer wanted to kill myself as an outlet, but needed something to release all my anger. The thought of self-harming with a knife came to mind. I would dig my nails into my skin and waves of relief would crash into me. I didn’t feel the pain.

With more counseling, I was able to find other outlets like writing and exercise. The recovery took time, but I stand here today, grateful to tell you my story.

Misconceptions about Teen Depression:
A misconception of depression is that every single thing in your life needs to be falling apart for someone to be depressed. The other is that depression only affects those who are less fortunate. One area of your life could feel like hell, and others amazing, and this can still lead to depression. If you are more privileged than the average person you can still be depressed. I consistently felt guilty that I wanted to off myself when I had things that people dreamed of.

This dark and painful journey taught me lessons:

Never undermine what you are feeling. It may seem insignificant to someone else, but that doesn’t matter as they are not you. Instead of feeling guilty, ask yourself two questions: “What events happened that made me feel this way?” “Is there a way to fix this problem?” By feeling guilty you are only digging a deeper hole for yourself of darkness that’s going to be harder to climb out of.
teen depressionYou are not weak by asking for help. In fact, you are stronger for realizing you need assistance. You are also not crazy! There is this perception that therapy is for crazy people, but this isn’t true.
Look forward to the little things. Depression can make you less motivated to do simple tasks like get out of bed, do homework or brush your teeth. However, I came up with a strategy. Every day before bed, I would find something small to be excited about the next day. For example, I would be excited to listen to a certain song, see a friend, go on a walk, or watch my favorite show. These little things slowly restored my motivation. So, if you’re struggling, try this. Perhaps it will help you like how it helped me.
You are strong whether you feel like it or not. Take the lessons from your depression. These lessons are your key to life. They can open a whole new world of perspective and understanding. People who have gone through the most in life, if they gain the right perspective, can be the most grateful.

I’ve learned that postponing things for the perfect time or situation is wasting precious time. When we are young, we think we have all the time in the world. Later we realize that time passes so quickly we regret not doing and living the experiences when we had the chance. Don’t postpone living. Seize the moment. Seize the opportunity to live and experience what life is gifting you at every moment. Don’t save things for the right occasion. Wear your dresses.
Don’t delay gratification hoping that someday will be a better day.
Don’t Postpone LivingThat someday may not arrive. I used to collect expensive bottles of wine and keep them for 20 plus years so their value would go even higher. It was a stupid thing to do because selling them never entered my mind. Yet, I didn’t enjoy them. They accumulated dust in the wine cellar waiting for a monumental occasion worthy of such delight. I opened one for the birth of each of my girls. It’s been over a decade since I opened my last bottle of special wine.
Today I realize that every occasion to be with family is a monumental day. I recently had the opportunity to be with my boyfriend’s family celebrating his birthday and ventured on opening one such bottle, praying it would still taste like wine and not vinegar. Being the philanthropic family they are, when they realized the value and rareness of the bottle, they felt guilty opening it. “It is best to donate to a charity for a fundraiser,” they said.

While the idea was noble, I thought to myself, let me get this straight, I have put off and stored this wine for 20 plus years so that some unknown person enjoys it with their family? And we do what? We just order a cheap and ordinary bottle for our dinner? Somehow that did not appeal to me. So, with much pleasure I opened the bottle, we all signed it to commemorate my boyfriend’s special day. Thankfully, the wine still tasted fabulous.

My point is don’t save your special wine and things waiting for that perfect occasion. Make the occasion and enjoy life. Don’t save all your pennies for a rainy day. Today is all you have. While it is prudent to plan for the future, it is not prudent to overlook the present moment because all your attention is on a future day.

The worst expression people use is ONE DAY! Don’t Postpone Living.
When I look at my calendar, I never see a day called, ONE DAY. People go to their graves without accomplishing and experiencing life. They were so concerned about the future that they forgot to live for today. One never knows what awaits minute to minute. Life and time are so precious and once it passes it cannot be recovered. Every moment you waste putting off your dreams for “one day” is time you can never take back.

My late ex-father-in-law worked hard on his pharmacy business. He was successful and often spoke to me about the value of hard work and investing in the future. Those were wonderful lessons, but in retrospect, he could have taken more time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

My ex-mother-in-law, loved to travel and although they traveled a fair bit, they always planned on one day doing so much more and for longer periods. He was looking forward to taking more time to take it easy and not being tied down by work so that he could spend even more time with family and friends. Given his financial stake and role in the business, I suspect it was difficult for him to let go of the day-to-day. I totally understand this being a business owner myself. No one can do it as well as you!

As time passed, he would tell his wife that soon, after selling the business they would travel for a longer time and not have the stress of being on a schedule. He always worked hard and stressed hard. He became consumed by the logistics that often come with the massive endeavor of selling his lifelong business while looking forward to that future day. When the sale closed, and retirement became possible and he could finally enjoy the fruit of his labor, for him, that future day never came.

Don’t Postpone LivingAt the height of this life, when he had sold his business for millions and he could have rested and put the stress of running and growing the business aside, he passed away from prostate cancer. By no means am I saying my late ex-father-in-law didn’t enjoy life because he did and made sure he was a present in all our major life events.
But due to his big responsibility, he pushed off things he could have done waiting for that perfect time to be free of less responsibility. There are many lessons I learned from him. I thank him for instilling in me a huge sense of responsibility and drive to succeed. He was a great role model for that. But I also thank him for teaching me to not stress so much and to enjoy all I can today and not in some future time because there are no guarantees I will get to live to see that future day. I am conscious that I live on borrowed time and each day can be revoked.

When all this was happening and my ex-father-in-law was already very sick. He asked the family to go to Aruba, his favorite place to spend quality time. Everyone went, except for me and my family. Not going on the family trip is a regret my ex-husband carries with him. It was at a crazy busy time for us in our business and we had a few conferences to attend. My ex-husband declined but told his father that later in the year we could plan a trip to Disney, just us, so he could spend quality time with our daughter, Victoria, whom he adored. We never got to take that trip to Disney. My ex-husband to this day says, “I don’t even remember what was so urgent or important. I don’t know what meetings I could have had or activities that were so important to have me miss such an opportunity to spend time with my father before he died.” Postponing things for a later day robbed my ex-husband of making lasting memories with his father and robbed him of precious time with his granddaughter. I am sure if we could take time back, we would have made a very different choice. Perhaps you still can!

Don’t Wait to Seize Life
Many wait to seize life for their golden years. They look forward to retirement to finally enjoy life to the fullest. But one never knows what the future holds. For one, the golden years are not what one expects. I find it so ironic that when we are in our 30s and 40s working towards to that future day we think about our golden years with great anticipation. Yet when they come, many realize they are not what they had hoped it would be. For many, those dreams don’t pan out as they planned.

People wait far too long to really enjoy and then illnesses come, physical stamina reduces, and now it’s too late to climb that mountain, too late to take the world cruise, or scuba dive with sea turtles and so much more. The best way to live is to assume that today could be your last and so if you knew that all you had was today, how would you live it? How would you spend it? What would you do? What would you say to those you love?

My advice is to consider that your golden years are now. Each day you wake is a golden day. Each year of life is a golden year, and you must live it as such. Do all you can to take time out for self-care and to enjoy life. When people are on their deathbed, nobody talks about their regret for not working more. No. They regret not having taken more time out to smell the roses, to spend more time with family, and not stress so much about things that truly don’t matter.

Take time to enjoy life while you work to build a future but never at the expense of today.
This is why I love Dolly Parton’s saying, “Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”

Don’t postpone livingWhen I was in my 30’s and 40’s I worked sometimes sixteen-hour days building the business. I left home when it was dark and returned home when it was dark. This was our life for my former husband and I for 13 years. The days were long and nights for him even longer. We lost friends in the process that couldn’t understand why we couldn’t join them or why we were often late coming to things due to the high demands of running a high-tech service company that was operational 24-hours-a-day, 7-days-a-week, 365-days-a-year. We were not enjoying life, because work had become our life. We would often complain that my late ex-father-in-law would come home late for dinner and when we started our business, we were coming home even later than he did.
Today I would have done it differently. I would have hired more help or trusted more and taken time to enjoy life. I learned a valuable lesson from the successful people in our family. Today I continue to work hard and live my passion because I love what I do. But as soon as my kids walk into the door, my working day ends and it does not matter what is left undone, they become my focus and my happy place. With my partner, I make sure we spend time, quality time, together and take time to see the world. It is easy to fall into the trap of work especially for two people who love what they do as for us it doesn’t feel like work. Nonetheless, I am disciplined and regimented about our time apart and together to connect.

So, don’t postpone the things you can do today for one day. Hopefully, you’ll have all the time in the world and health to enjoy for many later years to come. So, you have no regrets, live for today and enjoy your every sandwich!

Don’t Postpone Living

Growing OlderI celebrated my 51st birthday last week. Thank you to all my friends, family, and online community for your wonderful wishes. This year’s birthday had an extra dose of wonderful since it was also Mother’s Day. I had the privilege to celebrate life and being a mother all in one.
Turning half a century young, as I like to say, is a massive milestone. Usually, by this point, many of you may be empty nesters. For some of us, our children have reached a level of independence that requires less of our time. So, we begin to wonder what our life is about now that our children need much less of us.

I woke up feeling excited for my birthday. Birthdays have always been a big thing for me and especially on this day, I had a time for deep thinking. This is why I decided to write this blog for you, to address something that I believe many can relate to —the fears that can come with getting older. I am not going to deny that there is a dread that comes when you cross the 50 yard line, but there is also grace that comes with it. So, my objective for sharing this lesson or this small piece of wisdom is to give you a call of action, especially to those of you who are close to or have crossed over the 50 yard line, not to fear it but to embrace it.

Embracing Growing Older
For some people, especially women, being 50 is accompanied by fears and uncertainty. Although we are living much longer lives, reaching 50 is the threshold in which one begins to reflect upon life and all that it entails. Fifty is often the point in which our insecurities can magnify. We feel the fear of aging. There seems to be a critic in us that loves to consistently point out all the negative aspects of growing older.

For some people, birthdays are not celebrations but the yearly reminder of the dreadful reality of what they fear most—aging. My mother dreaded each passing birthday. I remember when she turned 50. She was depressed and cried. She met that stage of her life with resistance and fear. She said, “I now have less years in front of me than behind me,” as if she knew something I didn’t.

I remember wondering, ‘Is turning 50 that horrible?’ Aging was always a huge fear of hers especially because she had spent her life looking after her skin and appearance.

Growing OlderNow that I am here, I can relate. It is true. As soon as we cross the 50 yard line, we become more mindful of wrinkles and white hairs showing. I was just guilty of such. Driving in the car with my kids and ex-husband to dinner to celebrate, I stared at the lovely picture they took of me moments before. I zoomed into it and the critic in me began, “Oh my God! I can see a lot of wrinkles on me.” How many of you have done that? We are critical and unkind to ourselves. How about times when we look at past pictures and we long for the past and the way we used to look and feel?
Growing OlderMy ex-husband quickly reminded me to stay in my grateful zone. “When you are in your 70’s and 80’s you will look at this picture and long to look the way you do now.”
Such a great truth. “Yes. You are right,” I said as I kept staring at the picture now through different lenses. Every wrinkle had a place and instead of looking at them with a critical eye, I saw the beautiful women, mother, warrior, fighter, survivor, lover, writer, friend, teacher and wisdom bearer in me.

We Choose How to React to Growing Older
We can choose how we will react to what happens to us. We can celebrate growing older as the privilege that it is, or we can dread it as a life sentence. There is a graceful side of entering the stage of 50. If you allow it and don’t shame your years, it can also be an empowering turning point in which we become comfortable in our own skin. We care less about looks and opt instead for comfort.

It is the stage in which we recognize we have paid our dues and start to let our voice be heard. We become braver and embrace living our lives unapologetically authentic. We seek real connections that actually matter, we declutter the mess in our lives and start to finally believe in our strength, our wisdom and power.

As I laid in bed that night, I spent some time retrospecting about growing older and why such is often met with such residence and fear. So many stages of my life flashed before me.

Stages of Life
The Masquerade Stage:

I saw myself in my 20’s and 30’s, the young, vibrant, beautiful and super fit girl but that was also my Masquerade Stage. I didn’t know who I was, maybe because deep inside I didn’t like who I was and instead of doing the work to discover myself, I opted for something easier. I tried many masks and wore them so long that I truthfully forgot who I actually was underneath them. I had put so much effort into being anyone other than me. I was quite good at being the chameleon, molding myself to what I thought others wanted me to be in order to obtain their affection and approval.

Growing OlderThe Armor and Egocentric Stage:

Then my mind wandered to my 40’s. Yup, that was a highly vain stage for me of beautification, physical appearance, self indulgence but also a lot of fear. You could say this was my Armor and Egocentric Stage. I suited up to protect myself from anything that could hurt me and I became really good at hiding behind the thickets of shields, never allowing myself to fully trust, belong or love.

My biggest project during this stage was looking great naked in the mirror and seeking happiness at whatever the cost. Unfortunately, both desires were driven by the social programming that tells us that looking great is being skin and bones and that happiness is something to be obtained externally. You can imagine how I struggled and failed at both. This is the stage in which I suffered the most, hated myself the most and destroyed myself the most.

The Rebirth Stage:

Lying in bed on the evening of May 8, thinking of the wonderful day I had, I felt like the most fortunate woman in the world for the life I

have been so graciously gifted. I realized that those previous stages, that I often would like to forget and erase, were my stepping stones to feeling so complete. Those stages of pain, struggle and dissatisfaction are what led me to what I consider, my Rebirth Stage.

Life after 50 has been my stage of healing, self discovery and, in many ways, enlightenment. I can truly say that I have returned full circle into who I was meant to be. I am at peace with the person I have discovered and I am learning to love who I found.

Celebrating Growing Older
So, in celebration of growing older with grace and hope for what lies ahead. I believe that when we live life to the fullest, with no regrets, owning our shit and making repairs, celebrating the highs and lows — if you live from that grateful place, then growing older should not be something to fear because we live a life well lived.

Life after 50 sets the stage for something very powerful in each of us. Becoming older doesn’t need to be scary. Our fifties mark the age of wisdom and the stage in which we finally begin to feel at peace with who we are and what we stand for. Life after 50 for me is about living without shame or guilt. It is about living our truth and standing firm in what we believe without having to compromise or sell any part of ourselves to be loved and accepted.
It is about being at peace with the discomfort of not knowing where life is taking us but being excited for the prospect of adventure ahead. It is about accepting that we will disappoint some people along the way when we don’t share their opinions and beliefs. Yes, it is about being brave to take the risk of losing connections because we love and believe differently.

Now is your time to embrace your sexuality with the maturity and grace that can only come from the experience of a person who has loved and suffered deeply. Trust your intuition and set the boundaries that you may have been afraid to set before. This is your stage to be vulnerable, to be seen and to look at fear in the eye and still leap towards your dreams.

As my eyes were fighting to stay open and my mind tired from introspecting, seeing all those stages of Waleuska come to life again, I closed my eyes thanking Life and the Universe for 51 wonderful years. “Thank you for the joy, laughter, blessings, protection, tears, sickness and loss. I take it all.”

And with that gratitude prayer, I closed my eyes to sleep in full trust and love for what awaits me, knowing that best is yet to come.

Faith is on the rise and 84% of the global population identifies with a religious group. What does it mean for the future?

How many believers are there around the world?
If you think religion belongs to the past and we live in a new age of reason, you need to check out the facts: 84% of the world’s population identifies with a religious group. Members of this demographic are generally younger and produce more children than those who have no religious affiliation, so the world is getting more religious, not less – although there are significant geographical variations.

According to 2015 figures, Christians form the biggest religious group by some margin, with 2.3 billion adherents or 31.2% of the total world population of 7.3 billion. Next come Muslims (1.8 billion, or 24.1%), Hindus (1.1 billion, or 15.1%) and Buddhists (500 million, or 6.9%).

The next category is people who practise folk or traditional religions; there are 400m of them, or 6% of the global total. Adherents of lesser-practised religions, including Sikhism, Baha’i and Jainism, add up to 58m, or well below 1%. There are 14m Jews in the world, about 0.2% of the global population, concentrated in the US and Israel.

Science and religion

A key proponent of the incompatibility of science and religion is Richard Dawkins, the British evolutionary biologist, who has ridiculed creation and intelligent design theories.

But according to Rowan Williams, the former archbishop of Canterbury, efforts to pit science against religion are a “phoney war”. A YouGov poll carried out last year found that only 16% of believers accept the creation myth.

Another survey of 3,000 science, medical, technical, and engineering professionals in the UK, Germany and France, commissioned by the Scientific and Medical Network, found that 25% described themselves as atheists, and 45% as religious or spiritual.

Professor Eric Priest, a mathematician and a former president of the Royal Astronomical Society, said the supposed conflict between science and spirituality was outdated, and many scientists had “a more subtle, nuanced view of the relationship, and recognise that questioning, imagination, creativity, reason, faith and community are common features of both science and religion”.

In the US, a survey of scientists in 2009 found they were roughly half as likely as the general public to believe in God or a higher power. One in three scientists said they believed in God compared with 83% of the general population. Just under half the scientists polled said they had no religious affiliation, compared with only 17% of the public.

Jennifer Wiseman, a Christian astrophysicist and director of Dialogue on Science, Ethics and Religion, a programme of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, told ABC News that science was a “wonderful tool for understanding the physical universe” but religious belief provides answers to bigger philosophical questions in life. “We are physically connected to the universe and I think we have a deeper connection as well.”

But the third biggest category is missing from the above list. In 2015, 1.2 billion people in the world, or 16%, said they have no religious affiliation at all. This does not mean all those people are committed atheists; some – perhaps most – have a strong sense of spirituality or belief in God, gods or guiding forces, but they don’t identify with or practise an organised religion.

Almost all religions have subdivisions. Christians can be Roman Catholic (the biggest group with almost 1.3 billion adherents), Protestants, Eastern Orthodox, Greek Orthodox, Anglican or many other sub-denominations. Muslims might be Sunni (the majority), Shia, Ibadi, Ahmadiyya or Sufi. Hinduism has four main groups: Vaishnavism, Shaivism, Shaktism and Smartism. There are two main traditions in Buddhism – Theravāda and Mahayana, each with subgroups. Jews can be Orthodox (or ultra-Orthodox), Conservative, Reform or belong to smaller groups.

Geography is important in religion. Asia-Pacific is the most populous region in the world, and also the most religious. It is home to 99% of Hindus, 99% of Buddhists, and 90% of those practising folk or traditional religions. The region also hosts 76% of the world’s religiously unaffiliated people, 700m of whom are Chinese.

Three-quarters of religious people live in a country where they form a majority of the population; the remaining quarter live as religious minorities. For example, 97% of Hindus live in three Hindu-majority countries: India, Mauritius and Nepal, while 87 %% of Christians live in 157 Christian-majority countries. Three-quarters of Muslims live in Muslim-majority countries. Among the religiously unaffiliated, seven out of 10 live in countries where they are in the majority, including China, the Czech Republic and North Korea.

In contrast, most Buddhists (72%) live as a minority in their home countries. There are seven countries where Buddhists form the majority of the population: Bhutan, Myanmar, Cambodia, Laos, Mongolia, Sri Lanka and Thailand.

Which religions are growing, and where?
The short answer is religion is on the wane in western Europe and North America, and it’s growing everywhere else.

The median age of the global population is 28. Two religions have a median age below that: Muslims (23) and Hindus (26). Other main religions have an older median age: Christians, 30; Buddhists, 34 and Jews, 36. The religiously unaffiliated come in at 34.

Islam is the fastest-growing religion in the world – more than twice as fast as the overall global population. Between 2015 and 2060, the world’s inhabitants are expected to increase by 32%, but the Muslim population is forecast to grow by 70%. And even though Christians will also outgrow the general population over that period, with an increase of 34% forecast mainly thanks to population growth in sub-Saharan Africa, Christianity is likely to lose its top spot in the world religion league table to Islam by the middle of this century.

Hindus are set to grow by 27%, and Jews by 15% mainly because of the high birth rate among the ultra-Orthodox. The religiously unaffiliated will see a 3% increase. But proportionately, these religious groupings will be smaller than now because their growth is lower than the increase in the overall global population. And Buddhists are forecast to see a 7% drop in their numbers.

It’s mainly down to births and deaths, rather than religious conversion. Muslim women have an average of 2.9 children, significantly above the average of all non-Muslims at 2.2. And while Christian women have an overall birth rate of 2.6, it’s lower in Europe where Christian deaths outnumbered births by nearly 6 million between 2010 and 2015. In recent years, Christians have had a disproportionately large share of the world’s deaths (37%).

And while the religiously unaffiliated currently make up 16% of the global population, only about 10% of the world’s newborns were born to religiously unaffiliated mothers between 2010 and 2015.

But 23% of American Muslims say they are converts to the faith, and in recent years there has been growing anecdotal evidence of Muslim refugees converting to Christianity in Europe.

China has seen a huge religious revival in recent years and some predict it will have the world’s largest Christian population by 2030. The number of Chinese Protestants has grown by an average of 10 % annually since 1979, to between 93 million and 115 million, according to one estimate. There are reckoned to be another 10-12 million Catholics.

In contrast, Christianity is in decline in Western Europe. In Ireland, traditionally a staunchly Catholic country, the proportion of people identifying with Catholicism fell from 84.2% to 78.3% between the two censuses of 2011 and 2016, and down to 54% among people aged between 16 and 29. Those with no religious affiliation increased to 9.8% – a jump of 71.8% in five years.

In Scotland, another country steeped in religious tradition, a majority of people, 59%, now identify as non-religious – with significantly more women (66%) than men (55%) turning away from organised faith. Seven in 10 people under the age of 44 said they were non-religious; the only age group in which the majority are religiously affiliated is the over-65s.

What about theocratic states?
The Islamic Republic of Iran is probably the one that springs to mind first. Until the 1979 revolution, the country was ruled by the Shah, or monarch. But the leader of the new state was the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, who implemented a political system based on Islamic beliefs and appointed the heads of the judiciary, military and media. He was succeeded in 1989 by Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. There is an elected president, currently Hassan Rouhani, who is considered a moderate, reformist figure. Iran is one of only two countries in the world that reserves seats in its legislature for religious clerics (the other is the UK).

Other Islamic theocracies are Mauritania, Saudi Arabia, Sudan and Yemen. Twenty-seven countries enshrine Islam as their state religion.

The only Christian theocracy is Vatican City, the tiny but powerful centre of Roman Catholicism, where the Pope is the supreme power and heads the executive, legislative and judicial branches of the Vatican government.

Thirteen countries (including nine in Europe) designate Christianity or a particular Christian denomination as their state religion. In England, the Anglican church – the Church of England – is recognised as the official “established” church of the country with important roles relating to state occasions. Twenty-one bishops sit in the House of Lords by right.

Israel defines itself as the “Jewish state”, with an 80% majority Jewish population. However the government is secular.

In 2015, more than 100 countries and territories have no official or preferred religion.

What religions are oldest and are there any new ones?
The oldest religion in the world is considered to be Hinduism, which dates back to about 7,000 BCE. Judaism is the next oldest, dating from about 2,000 BCE, followed by Zoroastrianism, officially founded in Persia in the 6th century BCE but its roots are thought to date back to 1,500 BCE. Shinto, Buddhism, Jainism, Confucianism and Taoism bunch together around 500-700 BCE. Then along came Christianity, followed about 600 years later by Islam.

Some might argue that the newest religion is no religion, although non-believers have been around as long as humans. But periodically new religious movements spring up, such as Kopimism, an internet religion, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster or Pastafarianism (officially recognised by the New Zealand government but not the Dutch), and Terasem, a transreligion that believes death is optional and God is technological.

In 2016, the Temple of the Jedi Order, members of which follow the tenets of the faith central to the Star Wars films, failed in its effort to be recognised as a religious organisation under UK charity law. In the last two censuses, Jedi has been the most popular alternative religion with more than 390,000 people (0.7% of the population) describing themselves as Jedi Knights on the 2001 census. By 2011, numbers had dropped sharply, but there were still 176,632 people who told the government they were Jedi Knights.

Does religion have an impact on the world?
Of course – there are huge consequences to religious belief and practice. Firstly, countless wars and conflicts have had an overt or covert religious dimension throughout history right up to the present day. In the past few years, we’ve seen Islamic extremists waging war in the Middle East, a power struggle between Sunni and Shia across the region, the persecution of Rohingya Muslims in Myanmar, the Boko Haram insurgency in Nigeria, violent clashes between Christians and Muslims in Central African Republic, to name a few. Women are subjugated, LGBT people are persecuted, and “blasphemists” are tortured and murdered in the name of religion.

Then there’s the political impact. Donald Trump won the 2016 presidential election with the overwhelming support of white evangelical Christians. Legislators in Argentina recently voted against legalising abortion under pressure from Catholic bishops and the pope. Hungary’s far-right prime minister, Viktor Orbán, has cited the need to protect his country’s “Christian culture” to justify his anti-immigration policies.

But it’s not all bad news. There are millions of people of faith across the world engaging in social action projects to help the poor and marginalised. Look at the involvement of churches, mosques and synagogues in food banks and projects to support refugees, the sanctuary church movement in the US, the extraordinary sums raised by Islamic charities for relief work in some of the world’s most desperate places.

What happens next?
More prejudice and persecution. Followers of most major religions report increasing hostility and, in many cases, violence. Christians have been largely driven out of the Middle East, with some calling it a new genocide. Meanwhile antisemitism and Islamophobia are rising in Europe.

One of the biggest upheavals on the religious landscape in the next few years is likely to be the death (or, possibly, retirement) of Pope Francis, who is 81 and has a number of health issues. His efforts to reform the Vatican and the church have led to a significant backlash by conservative forces, who are organising against his papacy and preparing for the moment when the post becomes vacant.